Your Not The Father

Divorce for many can be an overwhelmingly stressful time for all parties involved. When a husband begins to question his paternity of a child born during a marriage. This could be the mechanism that prompts the divorce for many men.

It becomes too difficult to deal with betrayal for many men and they seek to remove themselves from the marriage and in some cases, the child’s life. If this is your situation, and you are questioning the paternity of a child. This article is geared toward providing some insight into the challenges you may face during this process if you decide to disestablish paternity.

Before we begin it is important to note the information is geared toward married men. Not all of the topics addressed in this article will apply to unmarried men. If you are unmarried check my article here on establishing paternity testing.

There is a rule known as the Lord Mansfield Rule. This rule is foreign to most people in America but it is the most important rule for people who desire to marry to learn about. In particular men! The rule is to define as such, Lord Mansfield’s rule refers to a rule of evidence which provides that both husband and wife are not entitled to give testimony on the question whether they had access to the other at the time of conception. In other words, If a child is born into a marriage it is presumed that the child conceived is the husband’s child.

Each state uses an interpretation of the Lord Mansfield Rule as it’s foundation if an issue of disestablishment of paternity comes up during the marriage. Now, the most important thing a man can do, Regardless of how much love he may have for his wife. The most important thing a husband can do is perform a paternity test as soon as the child is born. This way, if there is no questioning of paternity in the future if things do not work out in a marriage. Performing this task could prevent one layer of additional stress in the event you decide to go through a divorce proceeding.

Importance of performing a DNA test when the child is born

As soon as the child is born, it is important to perform a paternity test regardless if you are married or not. The reason being, If the child is not yours how could you save the child’s life in the event the child may need a bone marrow transplant or a blood transfusion. How about if there is a genetic disorder that the child may inherit and only the real biological father may be able to save the child’s life.

Remember, knowing who the real biological father of a child also falls under the best interest of the child. Although the health of a child is seldom discussed in legal proceedings under the best interest of a child. I believe men should bring the topic of best interest of a child when petitioning the court and, more importantly, the topic of paternity testing after conception before a child is actually conceived.

This way, the wife/mother of the child can not pretend to be surprised by you asking for a DNA test. It also allows a man to see how is current or soon to be wife feels about you questioning her trust. Her answer should give you insight into how she thinks or if you may want to continue with your relationship.

How to file for a paternity test?

There is no such thing as filing for a paternity test. If need want a paternity test, You can find a DNA relationship testing company like IDTO DNA testing center to assist you with coordinating an appointment in your city.

It is also important to note When calling any DNA testing company that you specify your intended purpose of use for the DNA result. This way, you can avoid being misquoted prices.

How to get a court-ordered DNA test?

In order to get a court-ordered DNA test. A family court judge will have to issue the court order. First, The husband would have to file a petition with the court. If the Judge/Magistrate deems the husband’s reasoning valid a court order will be issued to perform a paternity test.

Please keep in mind that married men will have a much harder time with getting a judge to perform a DNA test than an unmarried man. As I stated earlier, Any child born into a marriage whether biologically related to the husband or not is deemed the legal father of the child.

Therefore most Judges may still deem the husband as the financially responsible party. Which is why I stated earlier in this post having a conversation about your intentions of having a paternity test performed before a child is conceived is probably the most important thing a man can do before any serious consideration of a relationship.

Can I do a DNA test after a divorce?

Sure. The question you should be asking on whether or not a judge would disestablish paternity being that you are deemed by the state a the legal father of the child. I recommend consulting with an attorney who is well versed in divorce cases when husbands looked to disestablish paternity after a divorce.

Does a husband need permission from his wife to perform a Paternity Test?

No. Being that a husband is considered by the state as a legal guardian/custodial parent. The husband could perform a DNA test without the mother’s consent. But, I always recommend attempting to involve the mother if your circumstance allows. This way, she will have little room to question the validity of whether or not you tampered with the result. 

As always, please make sure you consult with an experienced family law Attorney in your state.


When it comes to determining paternity it is extremely important to understand your state’s paternity laws. Second, be able to have good communication with your significant other about your intentions prior to conception. Last, regardless of your scenario, it is also important to overcome any fear or doubt about performing a DNA test. Failure to do so could change your life both mentally and financially.

If you would like to learn more about all thing paternity testing. Please check out my new book on Amazon called Are You? Or, Are You Not The Biological Father The Complete Question and Answer Guide to the Paternity Testing Process.



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